antrim 1844 - Mr. and Ms. Adams

Last week after posting my list of things I would change about my wedding, a reader (shout out to Lauren) sent me an email asking if I had any specific tips about getting married at Antrim. Since I get requests from Antrim brides pretty frequently, I thought it would be best to answer her question with a post so all the other Antrim brides out there could benefit from our lessons learned.

So here are my tips for a wedding at Antrim 1844. I think a lot of these tips can be applied more generally to other wedding venues so hopefully all of you can benefit from them

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Understand Their Room Policy

Initially when we signed our contract with Antrim, we were under the understanding that our room block would allow guests to book any room that they wanted. This was key because Antrim isn’t your typical hotel with the one-price rooms. Antrim has a huge price range for rooms, starting at $150 and going up close to $400 a night.

We needed the flexibility for our guests to stay in different parts of Antrim’s property because the low cost rooms were spread across the 11 different buildings (they have a main mansion and 10 outbuildings).

When it actually came time for our guests to reserve their rooms, we found out that Antrim wanted to bunch all the guests together in one building so as not to disturb their other guests. So if our first guest called and requested a room in the Main Mansion, Antrim would force any guests that called after them to reserve a room in the Main Mansion until all the rooms in the Main Mansion were filled.

Needless to say we were not happy campers. To get around this, we told all of our guests just to call and say that they were just spending the night. I hated making people lie but it was the only way that our guests would be able to stay where they wanted. I’m not sure if Antrim still has this policy but you can get around it if you want to.

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Rent One Of The Outbuildings To Get Ready In

Another weird quirk about Antrim is that their check -in time for the bridal suite is not really that conducive to brides getting ready on the property. Since Antrim has a dinner seating every night at 6:30, they require their weddings to begin at 4:30 so that the Main Mansion can be used for cocktail hour before guests start to arrive for the first dinner seating.

On the other hand, check-in to the bridal suite doesn’t happen until 12:30, which would be fine if you were a guy. But if you are a girl that needs to get hair and makeup done, you would need to start getting ready way before 12:30.

The usual solution to this problem would be to get hair and makeup done off-site at a hair salon. That would normally work except for the fact that Antrim is in the boondocks and personally I wouldn’t want to use the surrounding hair salons. So that means that you have to find another place to do your hair and makeup.

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Since my parents decided to rent an entire outbuilding, we also had access to the common rooms. These ended up being the perfect place to do hair and makeup. We just rolled out of bed into the living room, which was turned into hair and makeup land. Then, when everyone was finished, we transferred up to the Main Mansion where the bridal suite was located to get dressed. I kind of liked this better than getting ready all in one place because it meant that the mess was kept clear of my bridal suite, which made for even better pictures.

But whatever you decide to do, just know that you will need to find a work-around for this. The only people who don’t have to worry about this are people getting married in a very slow season where no one will be using the suite the night before (Antrim will let you check in early in that case). I had no such luck since it was Memorial Day weekend.

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You Can Do A Rehearsal Outside You Just Need A Tent

Antrim gave us a lot of guff for wanting to do our rehearsal dinner outside by their pool. Initially, they flat out refused. Eventually, after coaxing our wedding planner, we finally got them to agree to let us have the rehearsal dinner outside but only if we used a tent.

Now tents tend to be really expensive but we found a work around for that too. Thanks to my resourceful husband we were able to find a reasonably priced tent vendor that charged us about $200. We highly recommend using them.

This also gets to a larger point of if you really want something just keep pressing them. Antrim is in the business of pleasing their brides and grooms. As long as you aren’t asking them to comp you a bunch of stuff, they will be more than willing to accommodate you. You may just have to ask a few times if it’s something they’ve never done before.

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Know When The Garden Is In Bloom

One of the biggest reasons that people decide to get married at Antrim is because of their beautiful rose garden. We were pretty shocked to learn that the roses don’t actually come out until the end of May.

So if you are looking to have a wedding amongst blooming flowers, just know that you will need to wait until the end of spring. We can attest to the fact that the garden won’t be in full bloom until then.

But if you do wait, your reward will be pretty amazing.

They Do Have Rectangular Tables

Even though pretty much every single reception that has been photographed there had round tables, Antrim does have rectangular tables (they have eight 8-foot tables and six 6-foot tables…and yes I remembered this without looking it up, it is sad).

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See. Our wedding coordinator told us that we were the first people to actually use the rectangular tables for their wedding.

There were rumors floating around that the previous wedding coordinator would only allow certain table setups. Well, I’m here to tell you that the new ones will let you do whatever your heart desires. All rounds. All rectangles. Some rounds and rectangles. Maybe even squares. Whatever you want.

Plan For An Arbor Backup

If you are like me and hate arbors, you probably want to cover the arbor with some beautiful flowers and drape it with cloth. Maybe something like this?

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Ah, much better.

Realize that if you plan on doing this and it rains, you will need a back up arbor for your ceremony inside. Your florist won’t wait to assemble the flowers on site. What they will do is have large sections already put together so they just have to attach it to the arbor.

This means that if it rains and you have to have your wedding inside your florist will still need to attach those long pieces to something or it will be completely useless. Note that we didn’t realize this until our florist mentioned something a few weeks before our wedding. There was no way that I was going to let hundreds of dollars of flowers go to waste. This meant a last minute dash for an affordable arbor that we could use inside.

This of course isn’t a big deal when you have months to find a solution. But it’s a much bigger deal when a few weeks before you ask your florist about the rain back up and you find out you need an inside arbor. Seems straightforward if you are thinking about it, but honestly what bride is going to figure that out on her own?

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Have Fun

You’ve picked an amazing location with fantastic food, top-of-the-line staff, and an unparalleled ambience. Even without these small tips, your wedding will still be one that people remember decades from now. Just know that picking the right location is three-quarters of the battle. And you have picked the crème de la crème of locations.

Your surroundings will be beautiful. Your food will be delectable. And your every need will be catered to. You truly are in great hands. So stop worrying and stressing and let their wedding planners take it from here.

Don’t believe me? Take a look at these.

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See, I told you it would be beautiful.

If you need anymore help or have anymore questions about having a wedding at Antrim, please, please, please don’t hesitate to leave a comment or send me an email. I would love to help!

Procopio+Photography 0002 In Defense of Wedding Bloggers

I’ve noticed a lot lately that people have been giving bloggers a really hard time. In particular, wedding bloggers always seem to get the most criticism. It usually comes in the form of something like this:

“Why do you think your wedding is so important?”

“Why do you think you’re better than everyone?”

“Everyone gets married why are you making such a big deal out of it?”, etc.

Pretty harsh, no?

I’d like to think that my blog has been immune to criticism but that’s not true. There are plenty of friends and family who have thought or said similar things.

Going into the blogging world, I knew that I was opening myself up for criticism and I prepared myself to hear negative and hurtful things. You think this would have lessened the blow the first time we received some negative feedback but it actually still really hurt.

The gist of the comment was much like the sentiments I expressed above. Somehow my blog was being misconstrued as a self-aggrandizing ego fest about how my wedding was better than everyone else. And I must be a really self-involved person because I was talking about a wedding that occurred forever ago.

Yeah, it was a stinger. I took it really personally because I felt like my character was under attack. I never in a million years would start a blog as an ego boost. I think in fact if you knew me you would know that I really hardly ever talk about myself. I made extra strides during our wedding planning to make sure that I didn’t start the wedding talk first with friends or family. I always waited until someone asked a question before I ever started talking about it. I was petrified of becoming that friend that no one wants to talk to because all she talks about is her wedding.

After getting over my initial shock and hurt, I started really thinking about why it is that I wanted to write about our wedding. So in a small way, I’m grateful that I was criticized because it made me really reflect on my behavior and my motivations. And what I ended up figuring out is that I’m blogging for millions of reasons. Maybe a few of them are selfishly motivated, but bottom line is that it all was grounded in love.

So in the theme of this week’s list posts, I decided to explain the 4 reasons that I wrote a wedding blog.

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#1- To Remember The Moments I Would Otherwise Forget

I think the biggest motivator in wanting to write a blog was having a way to memorialize my feelings and thoughts throughout the entire process. I can’t stress enough how quickly the planning and actual wedding day goes by. While I have pictures and a video, the feelings and nuances of that day are really only captured in my memories. As we all know, memories are fleeting. I knew the only way I would remember all the fabulous minutia of our wedding was to write it all down after it happened.

My wedding recaps ended up being much like an open-ended love letter to my family, my friends, and my husband. It was a time where I really thought about every single detail, moment, and tear and really reflected on what it all meant. Having that reflective space was absolutely priceless. The growth and depth that it brought to my soul is really immeasurable.

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The recaps also helped to ground me in my marriage and remind me of what a marriage is really truly all about. I looked back at our wedding ceremony and absorbed all the words we had so delicately crafted. I memorized my husband’s vows to me. A sacred promise of what our lives are to be together. Being able to process those emotions afterward makes me appreciate my husband and our love even more. So if it offends people that I wrote a blog as a way to memorialize those sacred moments, I’ll gladly take whatever criticism you have to dish out.

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*Not my kid, just my cute nephew*

#2- For Our Children

In your head I know you all are thinking I have a secret child that no one knows about but I’m talking about the future children that my husband and I hope to have. I wrote this blog for them.

When I was a very small child, my father was diagnosed with Hairy Cell Leukemia. While this type of Leukemia is easily treatable (doctors typically remove your spleen), he was also fighting a severe case of pneumonia, which was only complicating matters. The combination of both illnesses left him bed-stricken in a hospital for months.

I was too young to remember any of this. In fact, my parents never told us kids about his Leukemia until I was an adult. (My parents just said that he had really bad pneumonia. All of us were too young to remember and my youngest brother hadn’t even been born.) My parents didn’t want to burden us with this idea that my Dad had Leukemia. I truly understand why they did it. Carrying that fear around with you is scary.

When I did find out that he in fact had Leukemia, I had a completely different outlook on the entire situation. It became undeniably obvious that I very well could have grown up without a father. But what was worse than that was the thought that I would have grown up without having a single memory of him.

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My father is not one for diaries or letters. And he really hates having his picture taken. So I would have had to have grown up with only second hand knowledge of who he was and how he loved my mother. Just even thinking about it makes me cry.

After sifting through the whirlwind of emotions and feelings and what ifs, the only thing I could think about is that I needed to protect my kids from that experience. That if, God forbid, something happened to me or their father, they would still have memories and stories to which to cling.

Besides being a letter to my family and friends, this blog is a love letter to our future children. So that they may always know the love that I had and continue to have for their father. So that they can understand who we were when we were young adults. So that they can see how we grew and changed. But most importantly, so that they can see just how much we loved each other.

Perhaps that’s a tad bit dramatic. But I’m not telling this story for drama’s sake. I’m telling it because this is how I feel. I’ve always wanted to be a mom. The thought that my kids would grow up not knowing how I felt about their father on our wedding day was too much to handle for me. Regardless of what happens to me, I want them to have the opportunity to witness and read our love story as it unfolded.

So the next time that you hear someone say that brides writing wedding blogs are self-involved, think of this story. Think of the gift that they have given their unborn children; the gift that their children may be able to see life and love through their eyes. I’ll gladly taking the mocking of this blog so that I can have peace of mind knowing that my children will have a chance to know me beyond whatever memories they have.

#3- For The Ones Who Couldn’t Be There

I decided to spend so much time on our wedding recaps because we had friends and family that couldn’t be there.

As I’ve mentioned before, none of my husband’s grandparents were able to attend our wedding due to health issues. On top of that, one of my grandmothers got really ill in the middle of our reception and she had to leave early. I also had a very dear friend of mine who was unable to attend our wedding because she is overseas.

I wanted to give them a way to feel like they were there with us in every moment. I only hope that our wedding recaps made them feel like they were sitting there next to us. Perhaps, the recaps help to lessen their guilt and sadness about not being there.

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And in case you think I’m exaggerating about “old” people using the internet, I know for a fact that my grandmother walked herself down to their nursing home’s computer room just so she could watch our wedding trailer. Even “old” people appreciate wedding blogs.

So if making my grandma smile means I’m self-aggrandizing, I’ll take that title too.

#4- To Pay It Forward

I owe most of my ideas and sanity during the wedding planning process to wedding blogs. Every time I ran into a problem, there was always a blog I could read to help me sort it out. Whenever I needed inspiration, I could always rely on my favorite wedding girls to give me something to think about. When my head got too big, there was always a post that truly reminded me what weddings are all about.

I would be missing out on the opportunity to help others like I was helped if I didn’t post about my wedding. I posted the good, the bad, and the ugly so that others could learn from our mistakes and triumphs. So that their wedding day would be less stressful and more enjoyable.

In the small time I’ve been writing recaps, I’ve gotten multiple emails from brides getting married at Antrim. They were thankful for the opportunity to see how a wedding flowed from start to finish. Thankful that they got to see Antrim decorated in its full glory. Thankful that they could learn from our mistakes. Thankful that they could be less stressed out about having their wedding there.

There’s nothing more rewarding than knowing that someone else out there has benefited from these silly posts. I’m truly humbled every time I get a sweet, thankful email. I really should be thanking you for taking the time to read.

So I just want to say thank you to those who take the time to read this blog. Thank you to those of you who take the time to comment or send me emails. And thank you for taking the time to read this post.

I hope it shed a little light on why I blog and why other brides blog. Maybe it made you think twice about criticizing another blogger for being self-centered or self-absorbed. You can never truly know the motivations of other people. But I hope that throughout my posts, even before this one, I came across in a humble manner.

If I ever did make you feel like I was bragging or self-involved, I apologize. It couldn’t be further from the truth.

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Because at the end of the day who I truly write this for is my husband and my children. May this blog always serve as my open-ended love letter to them.

Category Archives: antrim 1844

Tips For A Wedding At Antrim 1844

In Defense of Wedding Bloggers