So yesterday I know I promised you that I would show you our first look pictures and I promise I will but that’s for tomorrow. Today, I want to talk about what happened while our photographers were setting up our first look.
After Cicely and I finished up with my bridal portraits, she asked me to move downstairs into the lobby, while she went outside to get my groom in place for our first look. I happily obliged and walked downstairs.
I was absurdly nervous and doing more deep breathing exercises than you can even begin to imagine. I was so excited to see Mr. A but so nervous about everything that was about to happen. Would I become a completely, useless emotional blob and ruin my makeup? Would I have the reaction he was looking for? Would my dress live up to his dreams? Would he cry when he saw me? I really worked myself into a frenzy.
But when I made it downstairs that all went away because my grandmother (we call her Noni) was waiting downstairs. It was one of those moments where I really felt like my great grandmother (Mom Mom) was there watching over me. Besides Mom Mom, I am really close with Noni, who incidentally enough is my great grandmother’s daughter.
In a lot of ways, when I saw Noni that day, I saw Mom Mom and as sad as that makes me now (I literally have the snot cry going on right now) at the time it was so comforting. It was like Mom Mom just wanted to let me know that everything was okay and she was watching even if it had to be from heaven.
As soon as Noni caught a glimpse of me, she started to cry, which of course made me cry. I had to have one of those please don’t cry because you are making me cry talks.
After we settled ourselves down, Noni and I just had a really sweet talk, like the one I always imagined having with Mom Mom. I told her that I loved her and I was glad to have her there with me but she needed to get upstairs to the bridal suite where the real party was (my bridesmaids and family were waiting up there during the pictures).
With that she left to go upstairs and soon enough Cicely came to grab me so I could finally see my groom. My anxiety was gone, my nerves were calm, and I was beyond excited.
I really don’t think I would have been able to be so calm during our first look had it not been for that sweet moment with Noni. Since her death, Mom Mom has found a way to speak to all of us who miss her. This just happened to be the time and the place that she chose to let me know that she missed me and loved me and that she was watching. I really couldn’t have had a better great grandmother. And, boy, do I really miss her.
Our First Look (For Real This Time)